Being aggressive, damaging or taking things that belong to others, or lack of care for others’ feelings

Sometimes, you or your friends might act in ways that hurt others or break rules. This can include being mean or cruel, damaging things, or not caring about how others feel. It’s more than just teasing or acting out. When these behaviors happen a lot and over a long time, it might be a sign of something more serious. Some kids might hurt animals, lie, or steal without feeling bad about it. These actions can start with pushing or hitting when you’re younger and might get worse as you grow older. These behaviors are unkind, hurtful, and harmful to those who do them.

It’s important to know that not everyone who acts out has a problem, but if these behaviors keep happening, it might be time to talk to someone who can help change the situation before it gets worse.

What is typical?

It’s normal for kids and teens to sometimes break rules or get into arguments. Younger kids usually follow rules more, but as you get older, you might test limits at home or school. This is a part of growing up and learning about the world.

Some aggressive actions are also normal. For example, little kids might hit when they’re upset because they want something right away. It’s also common for young kids to argue over toys or games. These behaviors usually happen in specific situations and don’t mean there’s a big problem.

As you grow, you learn to handle your feelings better and follow rules more often. It’s okay to make mistakes and learn from them. Everyone has lost control at some point; it doesn’t define who you are. The important thing is to understand that feeling anger or frustration is normal, but learning to manage these feelings is part of the maturation process. Over time, we learn that relating well with others is important and brings benefits, like stronger friendships and more support.

When should I be concerned?

Sometimes, aggressive behavior can be a sign of something more serious. If you or someone you know is often threatening to hurt people or animals, starting fights, or using things like sticks or knives to scare others, it’s important to pay attention. Other signs include stealing, lying to get out of trouble, or damaging things on purpose.

If these actions happen a lot and affect daily life, like school or friendships, it might be time to talk to someone. Kids might act this way because they have trouble controlling their emotions, get frustrated easily, or are dealing with stress, like family changes or moving.

For older kids and teens:

• Skipping school or staying out late without permission:This can be a sign of avoiding problems or not caring about rules.
• Running away from home: Leaving home and not coming back until the next day or later is a serious sign and should not be ignored.
• Touching others inappropriately or without consent: This is never okay and needs to be addressed right away.

Ignoring these signs can lead to more serious problems. Recognizing the problem is not a weakness, but the first step to having more control over your actions and improving your relationships.

What can I do if I (or a friend) struggle?

If you notice these behaviors in yourself or a friend, there are things you can do to help. Here are some ideas:

1. Be a role model.Show good behavior by staying calm and using a kind voice. Others will see how you act and might follow your example.
2. Talk about your feelings.Share your feelings with someone you trust. Ask your friend how they feel and listen without judging. It may be difficult to talk about how you feel at first, but it’s a process that just has to start.
3. Stick to the rules.Follow rules and encourage your friends to do the same. They exist to help people live together and protect everyone.
4. Praise good behavior.Notice when you or your friends do something good and say something nice about it. It feels good to be recognized for your efforts.
5. Find other ways to solve problems.Think of different ways to handle tough situations. Talking, asking for help, taking a deep breath, or stepping away for a while may be better options than fighting or breaking things.
6. Avoid things that make you upset.If you know something makes you angry, try to stay away from it or find a way to deal with it calmly.
7. Stay active.Do fun activities like sports or hobbies to keep busy and release energy in a positive way.

Remembering that changes happen gradually is essential: each positive step counts and must be valued.

What kind of professional support can I seek out?

If you or a friend is having trouble with these behaviors, it’s okay to ask for help. Talk to a doctor, such as a pediatrician, general practitioner, or a professional at your nearest Basic Health Unit (UBS), or a trusted adult about your concerns. They can guide you to the right professionals who can help.

There are mental health professionals who can offer therapy and support. Schools often have counselors who can talk with you and help you understand what’s going on. The goal is not to “change who you are,” but to give you the tools to make better decisions, improve your relationships, and have more control over your actions.

Public services are also available through the Unified Health System (SUS). You can find support at places like your local Basic Health Unit (UBS), Child and Adolescent Psychosocial Care Centers (CAPS i), and public outpatient clinics.