Difficulties interacting with, understanding, or talking to people

Social communication is how we talk, understand, and interact with others. It involves using the right words, changing how we speak depending on who we’re talking to, following conversation rules, and understanding body language, like facial expressions and eye contact.

As children grow up, they have many chances to learn these skills. They talk with other kids and adults and watch how others interact. Some children, however, have a different way of perceiving and connecting with the world. This may show up as difficulty holding conversations or understanding social norms. Just like learning to walk or talk, children are expected to reach social communication milestones at different ages.

What is typical?

Every child is unique, but children develop social skills over time. Here’s what you might expect to see at different ages:

• Around 6 months: Children smile back at people, try to make eye contact with caregivers, enjoy playing with caregivers, copy some movements or facial expressions, respond to their name, and recognize familiar people.
• Around age 1: Children enjoy simple social games like peek-a-boo, follow simple instructions, make noise to get people’s attention, and copy sounds and gestures.
• Around age 2: Children copy others, show interest in people other than caregivers, play next to but not necessarily with other children (parallel play), follow instructions, and point at things while looking at caregivers to see if they notice (joint attention).
• Around age 3: Children want to play with others, take turns in games, use imagination in play (but might mix up real and pretend), understand some emotions, have conversations (but may jump topics), follow more complex instructions, and share toys.
• Around age 4: Children are interested in new experiences, cooperate with other children, and make friends.
• Around age 5: Children want to please and be like friends, follow rules more easily, sing, dance, and act, show more independence, and tell fantasy from reality.

From age 6 and on, children get better at using words and having complex conversations. They start to value friendships more, and they learn to share and cooperate better. Some children take longer in certain areas, but when there is a significant or persistent difference in how a child communicates or relates to others, it’s important to pay attention.

When should I be concerned?

Children grow and learn at their own pace, but there are signs that may indicate social communication difficulties. These signs can vary based on the child’s age and environment.

Social interactions:

• Playing with others: Your child may not be interested in playing with other children or may play alone when others are around.
• Avoiding social interaction: Your child may avoid other students and adults.
• Passive social behavior: Your child may watch but not join in with peers.
• Social games: Your child may struggle to follow rules of social games or take turns.
• Pretend play: Your child may have trouble with pretend play or imaginary play scenarios.
• Activity engagement: Your child may not join in activities and may seem very passive.
• Solitary play: Your child may play alone even when other children are around.
• Social behavior: Your child may be extremely shy or very aggressive.
• Social rules: Your child may struggle to follow game rules or social norms.

Communication:

• Response to people: Your child may not respond to people or may respond negatively.
• Verbal communication: Your child may refuse to talk or only give short responses.
• Eye contact and gestures: Your child may have difficulties using eye contact, facial expressions, and gestures.
• Understanding emotions: Your child may find it hard to recognize others’ emotions or know how to react to them.
• Body language: Your child may find it hard to understand people’s faces or body movements when they talk.
• Proximity in interactions: Your child may not know how close to stand to people.
• Indirect communication: Your child may struggle to understand what others mean when not directly stated.
• Initiating conversations: Your child may find it hard to start or continue a conversation.

Relationships:

• Interest in caregivers: Your child may not show interest in spending time with caregivers.
• Interest in peers: Your child may not want to play with other children or may avoid them.
• Friendships: Your child may not have regular friends or may find it hard to make close friends.
• Conversations: Your child may struggle to stay on topic or only talk about their own interests.

If these behaviors are persistent, they should not be ignored. The earlier these signs are recognized, the greater the chances of helping the child develop with a better quality of life and well-being.

What can I do to help?

As a caregiver, being patient and supportive is important when helping a child with social communication difficulties. Here are some things you can try:

1. Pay close attention.Watch how your child talks and interacts with others. This helps you understand their strengths and areas where they need help.
2. Identify difficulties.Notice if your child struggles with things like making eye contact or taking turns. Knowing these helps you focus on specific skills to improve.
3. Emphasize positive social communication.Teach and show good behaviors like taking turns or sharing. Practice these during playtime or family activities.
4. Help children build their skills.Use role-playing and have supervised playdates to practice social skills. This gives your child a safe space to learn and try new things.
5. Demonstrate good social behavior.Act out good social habits so your child can learn by watching you. Be a role model in how you talk and listen to others.
6. Talk to your child’s teacher.Teachers can help understand your child’s social interactions and suggest helpful activities. They can provide insights on how your child behaves in school.
7. Use social stories.Create simple stories that show how to handle different social situations. Reading these with your child can help them understand and practice social cues.

You are not alone on this journey. Getting to know your child better is the best way to help them grow and develop.

What kind of professional support can I seek out?

If your child’s social communication challenges persist for more than a few weeks, consider seeking an evaluation from a professional or reaching out to your child’s school for assistance. Early intervention can greatly benefit your child’s social skills and self-esteem.

If you are concerned, you may discuss it with your child’s pediatricianor family doctor. There are also several types of professionals in schools who may be able to help, including school psychologistsand speech-language therapists. Mental health professionals can also help both children and caregivers by offering strategies for managing challenges at home and at school.

You can also find free support through the Unified Health System (SUS). Care often begins at your local Basic Health Unit (UBS). Other services include Child and Adolescent Psychosocial Care Centers (CAPS i), specialty centers, and clinics at university hospitals.