Difficulties with bladder control

You might know a younger kid who sometimes wets the bed or has accidents during the day, even after they’re potty-trained. This is known as enuresis, or difficulty with bladder control. It’s not something they do on purpose, and it’s not because of laziness.

Their body might still be learning to recognize the signals to go to the bathroom, or they might sleep so deeply that they don’t wake up when they need to pee. It can also happen because of stress or big changes, like starting a new school or a new sibling arriving.

While this might not be something you’re dealing with personally, you can be a huge help to a younger sibling, cousin, or friend who is.

What is typical?

Accidents are common for little kids, especially before they start elementary school. Most children learn to use the toilet around age 3.

Here’s what’s common at different ages:

• Up to 3 years old: Most kids are out of diapers, but accidents can still happen.
• Around 5 years old: Children usually have more control, but they might still have accidents, especially when they’re feeling stressed.

It’s normal for young children, especially those under 5, to have accidents at school. They are still learning to understand their body’s signals and might wait too long to go to the bathroom.

When should I be concerned?

It might be a concern if a kid over 5 is still having accidents often. It can be hard to know for sure because many children feel embarrassed and try to hide it.

You can look out for a few signs:

• Their clothes might seem damp, or they might avoid playing too far from a bathroom.
• They might not like going to sleepovers or other activities that involve sleeping away from home, like school trips.
• You might notice they get shy or worried when it’s time to use the bathroom.
• They might avoid talking about it or quickly change the subject if it comes up.

It’s really important to be respectful and never make jokes that could embarrass them. Showing that you understand helps create a safe space where they can feel supported.

What can I do if I (or a friend) struggle?

If a younger kid in your life is dealing with this, you can be a great source of support.

Here’s how:

1. Play it cool.Act like it’s no big deal. This helps them feel normal and not singled out.
2. Don’t make a big deal out of it.If you notice an accident, don’t draw attention to it, especially in front of others. You could offer a practical solution, like helping them find a bathroom or offering a change of clothes if they need it.
3. Talk to a trusted adult.Let a parent, guardian, or another responsible adult know what you’ve noticed so the child can get the right help.
4. Be a friend.Showing that you’re there for them and won’t judge them is one of the best things you can do to help them feel safe.

Remember, what they need most is understanding and support, not criticism or jokes.

What kind of professional support can I seek out?

The most important step you can take is to encourage the child’s parent or guardian to seek professional help. You can let them know that support is available.

You can tell them that specialists like a pediatrician, psychologist, or psychiatristcan help figure out what’s going on.

You can also let them know that free support is available through the Unified Health System (SUS). Care often begins at the local Basic Health Unit (UBS). Other services include Child and Adolescent Psychosocial Care Centers (CAPS i), specialty centers, and clinics at university hospitals.

Even if you don’t have this problem, your support can make a huge difference for a child who is feeling alone or embarrassed.