Feeling worried or anxious about many things

“Worry” means having thoughts that make you feel nervous or scared about the future. Worrying is normal because it helps us be careful when things are new or different. But in some cases, these worries become so intense and constant that they interfere with daily life.

Usually, children and teenagers worry about things that do not really happen. Your child may seem constantly tense, nervous, or worried, even when there’s no clear reason.

They may complain of unexplained headaches or stomachaches, have trouble sleeping, seem irritable, or cry easily. This isn’t a whim or a lack of willpower. It’s a sign that they may be facing concerns they can’t control on their own.

As children get older, they usually worry less about the same things. This is because they have more experiences to think about. Each experience helps them feel more comfortable about what might happen. Over time, the world feels less scary.

What is typical?

Children and adolescents may experience fears and insecurities at different stages of life. Babies may be wary of new people; young children may be afraid of the dark. Different ages bring different worries, and children and adolescents worry about things that match their age and what they are going through. These concerns usually arise in specific situations, but they don’t prevent children from participating in activities or sleeping well. Here’s what you might expect to see at different ages:

• Around ages 5-6: Children worry about getting hurt, “bad people” who might harm them, imaginary things like ghosts or witches, and being alone or sleeping alone.
• Around ages 7-8: Children worry about being left alone and have concerns about death or real dangers.
• Around ages 9-12: Children worry about school performance, such as tests and exams, death and injuries, physical appearance, and making friends.
• Adolescents: Adolescents worry about physical appearance and image, fitting in and being accepted by friends, doing well in activities like sports or school, and thinking about the future, such as career choices or life goals.

If you notice that these signs are excessive, you need to offer support and, if necessary, seek specialized help to understand what is happening.

When should I be concerned?

A child’s worries might be a problem if they happen often, are very strong, occur in many situations, and make it hard for the child to do everyday things. For example, a child might be too worried to go to school or see friends. It’s also a concern if they worry most days, many times a day, or if they constantly wonder if something bad is going to happen.

Here’s what you might see if a child is struggling with excessive worry:

• Worries about lots of things: Grades, sports, tests, being on time.
• Feeling something bad will happen: A sense of dread or impending doom.
• Worrying too much: Even when there’s nothing to worry about.
• Physical tension: Feeling tense, having stiff muscles, and finding it hard to relax.
• Physical symptoms: Stomach aches, headaches, sweating, feeling sick, or habits like biting nails, shaking legs, or grinding teeth.
• Restlessness: Being fidgety or unable to sit still.
• Irritability: Getting upset or angry easily.
• Trouble focusing: Difficulty paying attention because of worries.
• Sleep problems: Trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or feeling tired after waking up.
• Other signs: Not paying attention, having tantrums or mood swings, asking the same questions repeatedly, arguing often, avoiding normal situations, being very clingy, and complaining of pains before activities. In adolescents, other signs include perfectionism with an intense fear of making mistakes and using excessive screen time to avoid anxious situations.

If these worries start to interfere with school, socializing with friends, and your routine at home, it’s time to seek help. The sooner a child or teenager understands what they are feeling, the easier it is to learn to deal with these concerns in a lighter, healthier way.

What can I do to help a child?

As a caregiver, you know your child best. The most important thing is to show that you’re there to listen. Avoid phrases like “that’s nonsense” or “stop worrying,” as these can make a child feel more alone. Here are some things you can try:

1. Talk to your child.Discuss their worries calmly and show them you want to understand their feelings. Ask open-ended questions to help them express what they are feeling and thinking.
2. Listen to your child.Even if their worries seem silly to you, they are very real to them. Listen and try to see things from their view.
3. Teach problem solving.Help your child think about why they are worrying and find realistic ways to worry less. Encourage them to come up with solutions and try them out.
4. Promote a healthy lifestyle.Eating well, exercising, and sleeping enough can help improve your child’s mood and reduce worry.
5. Face the fear together.If possible, help your child face what they fear while you support them. For example, if they are worried about starting a new school, visit the school together before the first day. Reassure them that they don’t have to face this alone.
6. Practice relaxation.Together, take breaks for slow, deep breathing exercises or other relaxation techniques. You can do these exercises daily.
7. Create a worry box.Encourage your child to write down their worries and put them in a box. Set aside a specific time each day to talk about these worries together.
8. Establish a routine.Having a predictable daily routine can help your child feel more secure and reduce anxiety.

If these steps do not help, it might be time to get professional help. Worries that are too frequent, too strong, and interfere with daily life may indicate Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD).

What kind of professional support can I seek out?

It is normal for caregivers to feel concerned if their child has a lot of anxiety. If you are concerned, there is help available.

You can speak with a school psychologistand your child’s pediatricianor family doctor. They can refer you to other specialists, such as mental health professionals like a psychologistor child psychiatrist. These professionals work with children directly and can also work with caregivers so they can support their children better.

You can also find free support through the Unified Health System (SUS). Care often begins at your local Basic Health Unit (UBS). Other services include Child and Adolescent Psychosocial Care Centers (CAPS i), specialty centers, and clinics at university hospitals.