I worry about my child, but how do I know what is going on?

Being a caregiver is hard. You want your child to be healthy and do well. It’s normal to compare your child to others their age. You might wonder if everything is okay or if there’s a problem that needs help. Sometimes it’s hard to know what’s wrong or what kind of help your child needs. If you feel this way, this guide is for you.

What is typical development?

Growing up isn’t easy. All children will have some behaviors that cause stress as part of normal growth. Kids have to learn a lot as they grow up:

– How to walk and talk

– How to understand and handle their feelings

– How to talk to and get along with others

– What behaviors are okay in different situations

With so much to learn, it’s normal for kids to have some trouble or delays in learning skills, dealing with tough feelings, and behaving well all the time.

When should I be concerned?

It’s not always easy to know when a behavior is normal or not. But there are six things that can help you tell:

– Frequency. How often does it happen? Worrying sometimes is normal, but worrying all day, every day might be a problem.

– Intensity. How strong is the behavior? Small tantrums are normal for young kids, but destroying things or hurting others is more serious.

– Duration. How long does it last? Being angry for a while is normal, but being angry for days might be a concern.

– Context. Why does it happen? A tantrum after stopping a fun activity is more normal than one that happens for no reason.

– Uncommon behaviors. Some behaviors are always concerning, like hurting oneself or seeing things that are not there.

– Impairment. How much does it affect daily life? Behaviors that make it hard to go to school, see friends, or enjoy life are more likely to be a problem.

What are common concerns about children and teens?

Concerns usually fall into three main groups:

1. Learning concerns. These often show up early in life. They involve trouble with things like walking, talking, potty training, reading, writing, math, or communicating.

2. Emotional concerns. These can start early or later, like in the teen years. They involve strong feelings like fear, worry, sadness, or anger. Kids might avoid fun activities because of these feelings.

3. Behavior concerns. These can also start early or later. They involve trouble following rules or understanding what’s okay in different situations. These often happen with outgoing kids who like new and exciting things.

This guide is part of a set that will talk about these problems in more detail. It will also tell you where to find more help if your child has a big problem.