Feeling irritable, unable to focus, or having quick changes in emotions

Let’s face it, everyone gets angry or grumpy sometimes. Maybe you feel this way when you’re tired, hungry, upset, or just had a bad day. Sometimes it can feel like anything can irritate you: a loud classmate, a boring assignment, or a late break. Sometimes you might even wake up in a bad mood for no reason at all.

This doesn’t mean you are “grumpy” or “lazy.” It could be that your brain is having trouble regulating emotions. When these changes happen frequently and disrupt friendships, studies, and even fun activities, it’s worth paying attention.

What is typical?

Everyone gets angry—it’s normal. It’s natural to have mood swings, especially if something unpleasant happens.

• Usually, anger goes away in less than 30 minutes.
• If you get angry a lot (many times a week) or it lasts a long time (hours), it might make you miss out on things you enjoy.
• Sometimes, it’s harder to calm down than it is for adults because you’re still learning how to deal with intense emotions.

You might get angry if things do not go your way or you have to do something you do not want to do. Feeling like crying, yelling, stomping your feet, and kicking are normal reactions when angry.

We often get mad at our parents or family because they are closest to us and we feel safest with them. We try to be more careful around friends because being grumpy can make it hard to keep friends. The expectation is that, even with ups and downs, you can still study, have fun, and interact without too many conflicts.

When should I be concerned?

Getting angry easily can mean different things.

• It might be a normal reaction to unfairness, not being cared for properly, or feeling disrespected.
• It might mean there is another problem, like feeling sad, worried, or insecure.
• Sometimes, it can be a problem on its own.

We should worry about anger when it messes up our lives or bothers others because it happens too often or is too strong. Getting angry easily can show that we need help. It often happens along with:

• Feeling very sad
• Feeling anxious
• Low self-esteem
• Sleep problems
• School troubles
• Bad experiences

Persistent anger is a concern when:

• You’re grumpy with friends, family, and in class often.
• Anger lasts a long time, for days or weeks.
• You get angry often, many times in the same day.
• You want to hit, kick, or bite.
• You’re mad for no clear reason and in a very intense way.

If you feel like you have no control over how you react or if it’s really getting in the way, it’s time to seek support.

What can I do if I (or a friend) struggle?

It’s tough to deal with anger that sticks around, but no one has to face it alone. Try these tips:

1. Talk to a trusted adult: A parent, family member, teacher, or counselor can help. Talking about what’s happening can bring relief.
2. Understand your anger: Think about what makes you mad. Noticing situations that trigger anger helps you identify them and think about ways to deal with them.
3. Calm down: Take deep breaths, go for a walk, listen to calming music, or go to a quiet, safe place.
4. Healthy habits: Stay active, eat well, get enough sleep, and do things you enjoy. This helps you better manage everyday emotions.
5. Focus on your strengths: Remember the good things about yourself and what you do well. This strengthens your self-esteem.
6. Acknowledge small progress: Every time you handle anger better, it’s a step forward. Recognizing these moments is important.
7. Be there for a friend: If someone close to you is going through this, listen with empathy, avoid judgment, and encourage them to seek support.

What kind of professional support can I seek out?

You can share your difficulty with a professional at your school, or a doctor, such as a pediatrician, general practitioner, or a professional at your nearest Basic Health Unit (UBS). This professional will listen to you, understand what is happening and, if necessary, refer you to a psychologistor psychiatrist, who are specialists in mental health.

The important thing is not to keep everything to yourself. With proper support, you can learn to better cope with what’s happening.

Public services are also available through the Unified Health System (SUS). You can find support at places like your local Basic Health Unit (UBS), Child and Adolescent Psychosocial Care Centers (CAPS i), and public outpatient clinics.