Feeling worried, nervous, or upset when around people or when presenting to them

We all act differently when things happen in our lives, and we handle our feelings in different ways. This is called our temperament. Some of us are very active and love talking to people and trying new things. These people are often called extroverts. Others are not as active, do not smile or laugh as much, and do not look for new experiences or interactions. These people are often called introverts or shy.

Although shyness is natural, excessive shyness can affect a person’s routine, causing discomfort and even physical symptoms, like pain or trouble sleeping. If you feel like you have great difficulty speaking in public, talking to someone new, or giving a presentation without getting too nervous, it may be that this discomfort is hindering you more than you realize. The good news is that things can get better. The most important thing is to know that you’re not alone and that you don’t have to face everything in silence.

What is typical?

Shyness is normal. Many of us feel shy sometimes. Shy people take time to get used to new things.

• Meeting new people: You might feel shy when meeting new classmates, teachers, or talking to someone at a store.
• New situations: Shyness might make you hesitate at first, but it will not stop you from doing everyday things at school or outside.
• Everyday life: Even if you’re a little shy, you should still be able to talk to people at family events, school, and with friends.

Remember that being afraid of public speaking or being around others doesn’t define you. You can learn to manage this fear with support and practice.

When should I be concerned?

It’s important to pay attention if shyness stops you from talking to others or doing fun things. Excessive shynessis when you cannot warm up to people and stay quiet or distant. This can make it hard to learn and have friends.

• New situations: It’s normal to feel shy in a new school and not talk much at first. You should feel more comfortable within a few days or weeks. If you do not, you might have excessive shyness.
• Excessive shyness: This means you’re scared of many social situations and worry about what others think. It can be hard to:

• Speak in public
• Meet new people
• Talk on the phone
• Eat or read in front of others
• Talk to strangers

• Physical symptoms: You might feel your heart racing, shaking, sweating, shortness of breath, headache, or stomach ache, especially before or during social interactions.
• Other signs: You might:

• Feel very worried or nervous around people.
• Avoid people because you’re worried or nervous.
• Feel very worried or nervous around teachers or other important people.
• Avoid talking to teachers or other important people.
• Get very worried when people watch you do things.
• Avoid situations where people watch you.
• Get very worried when you have to present or perform.
• Avoid situations where you have to present or perform.
• Worry about being made fun of.
• Worry about looking stupid.

Remember, if this concern is disrupting your routine, interfering with your activities, your sleep, or your appetite, you can seek help. There’s nothing wrong with feeling this way, but it’s important to seek support so you can feel more at ease.

What can I do if I (or a friend) struggle?

Dealing with shyness can be hard. Here are some things you can try:

1. Give yourself time: In new situations, watch what’s happening before jumping in. Start by saying hello and making eye contact. Take a deep breath and be kind to yourself. It’s okay, you’re learning.
2. Positive interactions: Spend time with people you’re comfortable with. This helps you feel at ease.
3. Role play: Practice social situations with someone you trust. Try greetings, eye contact, speaking confidently, and smiling.
4. Celebrate progress: Give yourself credit for trying to overcome shyness. Every small achievement will help you realize the rewards.
5. Do not avoid situations: Avoiding makes shyness worse. It teaches you that social situations are scary. Try starting with situations that seem “less difficult” to you.
6. Remember your strengths: Think about what makes you interesting and unique.
7. Remember not everyone is looking at you: They’re probably not thinking about you at all.

It’s okay to be kind and patient with your process. You don’t have to go through this alone, and talking always helps.

What kind of professional support can I seek out?

If you feel embarrassed or bad about your shyness, help is available. You can share your difficulty with a professional at your school, or a doctor, such as a pediatrician, general practitioner, or a professional at your nearest Basic Health Unit (UBS). This professional will listen to you, understand what is happening and, if necessary, refer you to a psychologistor psychiatrist, who are specialists in mental health.

Asking for help isn’t a weakness—it’s a way of taking care of yourself. With the support of adults and professionals who care about you, you can understand what’s going on and find ways to feel better.

Public services are also available through the Unified Health System (SUS). You can find support at places like your local Basic Health Unit (UBS), Child and Adolescent Psychosocial Care Centers (CAPS i), and public outpatient clinics.