Social influence

In today’s digital age, all people are exposed to new ideas and trends, often through social media, AI, and other online platforms. Influence is defined as the change in someone’s thoughts, feelings, or behaviors caused by other people. This is called social influence.

Influencers, people with large online followings, can greatly shape how children think, feel, and act. Influencers are paid to post versions of their life that are made to look perfect. This can include videos of “a day in the life,” “what I eat in a day,” and shopping trips. Even content that seems innocent can push messages to young minds just by following trends.

Some trends may be fun, while others are dangerous. Children may copy trends they see online, not knowing that many are faked or staged. For instance, some trends have shown people eating toxic household items, taking part in jokes that hurt strangers, stealing, or doing other dangerous, sometimes life-threatening, things. Not understanding the difference between what is real and fake online can cause children to accidentally harm themselves or others.

This content may affect how they feel about their values, their body, and their health. Nothing you or your child sees online is random. Computer programs are designed to learn what we like and then target us with content and ads. Many AI platforms create realistic fake news and content with a hidden goal to keep users online longer. As technology changes, it is hard for anyone, especially kids, to know what is real and what is made by AI.

When the messages children see are not realistic, they may lead to concerns about self-esteem, behavior, or identity. As caregivers, it’s important to help children see the difference between what we see online and what is real life.

What is typical?

It’s normal for children to want to copy what they see on social media. Often, this is just curiosity or a way to explore who they are. It is also a way for them to feel connected to their friends and what’s popular. But when children start relying too much on influencers to shape who they are, it can become a problem.

-Recommended age for social media use. The American Academy of Pediatrics says it is best to wait until children are at least 13 years old to let them have social media accounts. In fact, most social media sites require a person to be 13 to sign up.

However, every child is different. One 13-year-old may be ready for social media, while a 16-year-old may not be. It is important to know your own child.

-Typical behavior involving social media influencing. Many children and teens follow influencers for fun, to get information, and to feel like they belong. Influencers can be good role models and help teens feel better about themselves. Sometimes, social media can help kids learn new skills, connect with family, or find new hobbies.

Copying an influencer’s style, hobbies, or words can be a normal part of growing up. It is also normal for kids to like products that their favorite influencers promote. However, it is important to watch for signs that social media’s influence on your child has become harmful.

When should I be concerned?

Sometimes, being too focused on an influencer can become a problem. Here are some signs that your child might need help:

-Making decisions based only on an influencer’s advice without thinking for themselves -Talking badly about themselves

-Developing unhealthy eating habits based on what they see online

-Having a hard time telling the difference between social media and real life

-Feeling bad about themselves after using social media

-Planning activities just so they can post about them online

-A change in their daily routine (like not exercising, doing hobbies, or going to bed on time) because of social media

What can I do to help?

As a caregiver, here are some things you can try:

1.Delay exposure. It is recommended to delay your child’s use of social media until eighth grade at the earliest.

2.Choose the right time. Every child is different. Decide if your child is ready for social media by thinking about how they handle criticism and how well they think before they act.

3.Talk about using media safely. Before you allow social media, have a long talk with your child about how to be safe, what is okay and not okay to do, and how to balance online and offline life. Ask your child to think carefully about what they post and who they share it with.

4.Supervise their first steps. When you first introduce social media, watch how they use it. This could look like going on Instagram together and talking about what you see.

5.Set rules and boundaries. Be clear about the rules for using social media. One good rule is to tell kids not to post anything they wouldn’t want a grandparent to see. Set clear consequences for breaking the rules.

6.Parental controls. Use parental controls to set healthy limits on screen time. Major platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and Snapchat have parental control settings. You can also create a joint account with your child. This gives them freedom while you can see what they are exposed to.

7.Teach them about privacy. Talk about their “digital footprint” and how what they post online can last forever. Teach them to set their accounts to private and to never share personal information like their address, school, or phone number.

8.Provide real-life role models. Make sure your child has people in their real life, not just online, to look up to and learn from.

9.Be a role model. Children learn from what you do. If you are always on your phone, they will think that is normal. By being mindful of your own screen time and saying things like, “I’ve been on my phone a lot today, so I’m going to put it down for a while,” they will learn to manage their own time, too.

What should I talk to my child about?

-Unrealistic standards. It’s important to remind kids that social media is edited to hide flaws and show unrealistic ideas of beauty and success. Bodies and lifestyles are made to look perfect with editing apps, surgery, and makeup teams.

-Perfectly staged content. Content that looks easy and perfect may have entire film and editing teams working behind the scenes.

-Dangerous trends. Trends are always changing, and kids may feel pressure to join in. It’s important to talk about the dangers. For example, the “Tide Pod challenge” started as a joke, but it led to some kids eating the poison pods.

-Harmful messages. Social media can have all kinds of messages, both open and hidden. Watch for harmful messages about violence, extreme dieting, or disrespect toward others. Sites like Reddit, where people can post without using their real names, can let harmful ideas spread easily.

-Cyberbullying. It is easier for people to be cruel online because they are not face-to-face. This can lead to children seeing or taking part in bullying.

-Trained computer programs. The content on your child’s feed is not random. It is designed to keep them scrolling. It shows them videos they might like or comment on and ads they are likely to click.

-Content focused on buying things. A lot of content on social media encourages buying things. This can be through ads or influencers showing off large hauls of products they bought.

-Predatory behavior. Predators can hide behind fake profiles online to try to take advantage of or blackmail a child.

-Editing photos. Talk to your child about apps like FaceTune or Photoshop that are used to change how people look in pictures. Remind them that most photos they see are changed.

How to Start the Conversation

It can be hard to know how to begin. Try asking open questions like:

-“Who is your favorite person to follow online? What do you like about them?”

-“Have you ever seen something online that made you feel bad about yourself or our family?”

-“Can you show me a funny video you saw this week? What made it so interesting?”

-“What do you think that person was trying to get you to do or think when they made that post?”